While there are many differences between Republicans and Democrats, one of the most striking personality differences is how they view politicians. From calling Obama the ‘New Messiah’ and our ‘savior’, to wanting to give Bill Clinton ‘a certain type of sex’ and calling the Clinton/Gore ticket an ‘all beef-cake ticket’, to Hillary being ‘The New Madonna’ (the second time that moniker has been applied to her), to their insistence on calling the drunken, womanizing Kennedys ‘Camelot’, liberals put their celebrities and politicians up on pedestals, worshiping them as one might worship a diety.

Heck, half the time, Republicans can’t even stand our politicians. We certainly don’t call them our Messiahs, Madonnas, or try to emulate them. I don’t ever recall seeing a group of Republicans trying to dress and act like Adam Baldwin, calling Sarah Palin our Madonna, or Reagan our Messiah. We don’t lionize Republicans who ask questions at town hall meetings, and turn every whack job who spouts the party line a hero we should try to emulate (see Sarah Fluke, Jean Rohe, Lisa Brown, etc.,).

Democrats were announcing that Obama was the New Messiah, and don’t argue, just for announcing his candidacy. He was given a Nobel Peace Prize simply for winning the presidency -oh, sure, they said it was for everything –everything mind you -that he’d done in his first eight days of office, but lets be real here. Jamie Foxx was running around calling him ‘our lord and savior’, while Spike Lee eagerly announced that he was the Black Jesus. One reporter said he was ‘demigod-like’, and the usual gaggle of celebrity airheads made a video pledging to serve Obama anyway they could. He was named the ‘Sexiest politician in the world’, while his wife made the top ‘100 sexiest women in the world’.

Hillary was much beloved by the Democrats; she was said to be the new Madonna, somewhere ‘between Eleanor and Evita, transcending both’, and a mixmash of Betty Crocker, Mother Theresa, and Oliver Holmes. She was a saint, according to one interviewer, for being both the first lady, and a mother!

But her horn-dog husband was just as popular; while it’s hard for the younger generation to imagine now, Bill Clinton was heralded as ‘a rock star’, and ‘bigger than Elvis’. According to reporters, women everywhere were having dreams about sleeping with Clinton and Gore. Nina Burleigh of Newsweek announced that she would love to give Clinton oral sex just for keeping abortion legal. Supposedly objective news reporters and journalists announced him to be ‘incredibly sexy’.


Yeah. He was the sexiest man alive, ladies. Imagine.

Who was the last Republican you wanted to sleep with -aside from your significant other, that is. I don’t recall thousands of Republican journalists, pundits, and reporters going on about Sarah Palin as the new Madonna, or Betty Crocker. I must have missed the reports of throngs of people envisioning sex with the Bush presidents, or the ones about how Reagan was the ‘New Messiah’, and going to save us all.

No, Republicans rarely even trust their politicians -the most we expect from them is typically not to be as corrupt as the Democrats. In many cases, we openly acknowledge that most politicians -no matter which side of the aisle -probably won’t do what we would like them to do, and will do what we would rather they didn’t. Even Reagan -who is heralded as the epitome of conservative today -was criticized frequently and vehemently by conservatives in the 80’s for not being harsh enough on certain things, for not being liberal enough on others.

But remember folks: Republicans are the nutballs. Now back to our regularly scheduled news: Obama to be named Sexiest Man of the Universe, and Most Important Person Ever!


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