Voting For A Vagina!

As a woman, in the past three months, I’ve heard a lot of my female friends bitterly criticize me for not voting for Hillary Clinton on Tuesday. Among the most common things I hear are…

“But, this is historic! Or herstoric!” (with stupid, girly giggles accompanying)

“She’s the first woman to run!”

“Well, yeah, she’s got some problems, but I mean… This is the first time a woman is this close to the presidency!”

“This is a huge win for females everywhere!”

 

I’d like to take each one of these things in order. Firstly, if I see or hear one more person tell me about how herstory or herstoric this is, I swear I’m going to rip out my eyes, and pop my eardrums. I thought we’d moved beyond this stupid war against the English language in the eighties, but nope! We can’t have male words again!

It’s history. It’s historic. That’s the correct spelling. Period, end of story, don’t care how offended it makes you. You just look like idiotic teenage girls when you refuse to spell it correctly.

Point of fact: Hillary is the first woman to win a major party nomination. She is NOT the first woman to run. Victoria Woodhull was actually the first; after that, there was Belva Lockwood, Gracie Allen, and quite a few more.

And these last two ‘points’ boil down to the same thing: well, Hillary has a vagina, and I have a vagina, so I must vote for the vagina!

Just a heads up, ladies… This stuff, right here doesn’t do much to improve your credibility. If we are going to have a female president, how about we demand one that doesn’t have a history of lying? Or one who doesn’t have a history of attacking her husband’s victims? One that doesn’t have a history of obstructing justice (see, Whitewater papers, email scandal, Vince Foster’s office, etc.,). One that doesn’t seem to have a serious physical ailment?

Or hell… How about one that doesn’t look like she stole Kim Jung Il’s wardrobe?

Hillary is a criminal. She’s also a liar, a sneak, and quite possibly an idiot as well. If I have to vote for a woman solely because she has the same private parts as me, I at least demand a candidate who doesn’t fall over every five minutes. One who’s claim to fame isn’t ‘My husband was credibly accused of being a rapist, and provably a serial sexual assaulter!’

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